In Mama: A Queer Black Woman's Story of a Family Lost and Found, Nikkya Hargrove presents a compelling memoir that is both deeply personal and powerfully resonant. She courageously recounts her journey of gaining custody of and raising her half-brother, Jonathan, due to their mother’s substance abuse and eventual death, illustrating her struggle to create a safe, loving family despite the traumas that shadowed her own upbringing. Hargrove’s writing is steeped in raw honesty and a reflective depth that captures the complexities of intergenerational trauma and the harsh realities faced by families impacted by substance abuse, incarceration, and societal biases.

A central theme of Mama is the devastating ripple effect of addiction and trauma within families, especially when addiction forms as a means of coping with insecure attachments or unhealed wounds. Hargrove thoughtfully exposes how her mother’s own experiences with abuse and incarceration contributed to cycles of pain that threatened to extend to Jonathan, a cycle Hargrove fights to break by stepping into a parental role. She also examines the painful limitations of the American carceral system, revealing how it dehumanizes and harms both the incarcerated and their loved ones on the outside. Through prison visits and the lens of family court, Hargrove critiques policies that prioritize biological reunification over a child’s wellbeing, challenging a state process that, though intended to support, often inflicts further damage.

Hargrove’s memoir is also a tender exploration of her queer identity, her journey to find belonging, and the added layers of complexity in being a queer, Black mother navigating social stigma. Her relationship with Dinushka, her future wife, brings a sense of hope and healing as they create a supportive, multicultural family unit. Yet, as Hargrove faces societal scrutiny and battles for Jonathan’s custody against an absent yet persistent father, she sheds light on the obstacles placed before Black mothers and welfare recipients. Her narrative offers an unfiltered view into the stigmatization around race and class, revealing the judgments that weigh on self-worth and the courage it takes to defy them.

Ultimately, Mama is a testament to the resilience found in chosen family and the transformative power of love and community. Hargrove’s story invites readers to witness her journey of healing and, through her introspective and powerful prose, find inspiration in her fight to forge a family built on strength, compassion, and unwavering commitment.

📖 Recommended For: Readers who value raw and reflective storytelling, those interested in narratives on intergenerational trauma and resilience, fans of memoirs centered on Black motherhood and queer identity, and readers of Saeed Jones and Cole Arthur Riley. 

🔑 Key Themes: Generational Trauma, Addiction and Recovery, Queer Identity and Belonging, Systemic Bias and Injustice, Family and Resilience.