oh wow. oh wow oh wow oh wow this was glorious. that’s truly the only way i can describe this. shout out angry women.

now let’s get out of the way why this is a 4-star — a lot of points in this book weren’t allowed to breathe imo. a lot of things were not fully fleshed out or explained, and although at times having the reader and the mc figuring things out together can work, for this book it didn’t feel like it worked. idk i felt like the horror elements needed to start a looottttt earlier, and let the audience be a step ahead of mary. alas, that did not happen. this can also apply to the “secret” of the town, as well as mary’s “true” identity. i’ll be real i didn’t see the twist about the town coming, but although i guessed mary’s twist, it wasn’t because i had all the ‘information’ before she did — my ass just went with what i thought the author would go for. i just guessed. no evidence i just threw something to the wall and it stuck.

furthermore (my lab reports are getting to me), the horror wasn’t properly… explored? at least for a good chunk of this book. i mean this is something that can’t realistically be worked around considering mary is the queen of blacking out, but then it just left me to fill in the blanks. realistically yes that can work cuz “ooo what the mind can drum up is always terrifying!” except not for my autistic ass. instead i’ll just sit there trying to work out what actually did happen, and be confused until it’s spelled out for me. so all the horror where the reader was left in the dark? sorry it’s a pet peeve when stories do that like SHOW ME THE HORROR MANNNN IF I WANT TO IMAGINE IT I’D JUST MALADAPTIVELY DAYDREAM!!!!! 

also some twists just felt. stupid. like not in terms of it being added to the story — nat cassidy really brought everything to life in a magnificent way — but some elements were giving more magical realism. which i mean if my horror teeters to contemporary i want it to stay that way. if ur gonna do magical realism horror…. commit u know. idk it’s hard to describe *why* i didn’t like the plot’s direction, because it was written well… just some elements felt silly. especially the epilogue w/ mary 😭😭 like this book was well written some parts just felt too batshit for me to suspend my disbelief. like for note, chipotle. like i’m sorry that had me cackling. idk if the humour is intentional or not but this book was too goofy at times.

ok so what did i actually like? Mary. is. a. Bad. BITCH!

also i gotta note her collecting porcelain figurines is so me. girl i love royal doulton bunnies i get u homegirl. she’s somehow so relatable and Not. like she’s what i’d wish i was at 50 and yet is such a loser 😭 it’s such a fun dichotomy which makes her so interesting. honestly if mary was boring i would’ve been much meaner towards this book. nat cassidy honestly tore up mary’s characterisation. as well as everyone elses. like my god NADINE??? her last handful of scenes…. my GODDD she’s a hoot. added some needed light scenes to the book. eleanor was interesting too…. until the end (i don’t like the direction she went in but that’s just personal preference). the town mostly felt like it was full of tropey ‘villains’, but nadine really came thru for the supporting cast.

the ending was really sweet too. it really resonated with me as only recently have i come to terms with Aging. which feels silly to say when im only 19 but still. getting older is scary. and i’ve always had a fear of wasting my life. Seize the Moment! but idk this book just made me feel more content with my realisation that…. hey life is long. i can take breaks. also ur disabled so calm ur fucking farm clover oh my god. but yeah it was really sweet to see mary come to terms with her age! and her body! god do i get that one. all the power to you mary. 

the best part of this book was easily the second half, although i will admit the first half was….. Slow. yes ik we have to build up to things but sometimes i wished it moved a tad faster. oh well.

i will say tho one horror element that got me were the fucking ants. you can show me gore for days but BUGGSSSS?????????????????? shiver me timbers!!!